Paper Boys and Girls!

It’s funny how often a random conversation or occurrence will deliver a subject for my blog to me, usually when I’m sitting wondering what to write about.  This morning, it was my partner exclaiming over how many pieces of paper he found he had in his hand, as receipts for a one-off purchase at the local garage!  There were three pieces of paper in total – a till receipt, a card payment receipt, and an advice about a special offer.  Three separate pieces of paper, printed with the kind of ink that fades within a day of being touched or left in the sun so it needs to be either quickly squirreled away for safe keeping or instantly binned as irrelevant.

It kind of begs the question – why, in a so-called “electronic society”, do we still need so much paper?  Back in the olden days when we needed a paper trail to account for everything, long before internet banking took over and simplified it all, it made sense to have lots of receipts attesting to what we’d spent.  After all, our accountants used to shout at us if we couldn’t provide hard evidence for every last penny.  Nowadays, our bank statements do it for us, and there are various online systems that allow us to code and channel it all appropriately.  And even if we do still need evidential receipts, why does so much paper have to be involved?  Three receipts?  At the supermarket it is often more than that.  Usually there will be a coupon-shaped receipt informing us of how many pennies we’ve saved at Tesco by not shopping at Sainsbury’s, or vice versa. Half of the coupons for savings are only useful when you buy a certain brand of something, and are therefore only relevant to a small sector of the community who actually likes or wants to try that product.  The rest of us just stuff them into handbags, purses or pockets, to surface later as out of date, unreadable, or fluffy flotsam in the washing machine and all through the clothes.

You may or may not know that it takes roughly 24 trees to produce one tonne of paper, and you also may or may not know that here in the UK alone we are using TWELVE AND A HALF MILLION TONNES  of paper per year.  That’s a lot of trees.  No wonder the forests are thinning out so alarmingly across the world, reducing so many wildlife habitats in the process.  Those forests simply aren’t re-growing at the same rate at which they’re being decimated. And, since recycled paper produces a staggering 73% less air pollution than paper produced from raw materials, it makes more sense than anything else, to do just that.

Happily most recycling centres do accept paper, in various forms, such as magazines, phone books and catalogues, along with newspapers, flyers, cardboard and office paper.  It’s good that we are encouraged to recycle paper through the simple, convenient process of council collection, because if it was much more difficult than putting out the bin each week, we’d all be recycling a lot less.  Who has the time or space to collect waste paper and take it to the right place for recycling?   It needs to be convenient, literally on our doorstep, or we just don’t tend to do it. 

As important as it is to recycle what we’ve already produced, it makes even more sense to cut down on what we produce in the very beginning.  Even small pieces of paper, like till receipts, can start to mount up.  I’ve lost count of the times I’ve cleaned out a handbag and found a ridiculous amount of paper I haven’t so much as looked at since the moment it was put into my hand.  It floats around in the bottom of my bag and by the time I fish it out, most of it is unreadable anyway. Into the recycling bag it goes, if I’m anywhere near one.  If I’m not, it simply goes into a bin somewhere, if I’m out and about and finally sick of not being able to find whatever it is I’m really looking for in my bag, for so much paper being in the way.

Companies are notorious for the chronic waste of paper.  Since I changed to online bank statements and billing systems, I’ve noticed a huge drop in the piles of paper that tend to accumulate around the house, but some companies still send several pieces of correspondence to me in different envelopes, often within a day or two of each other.  Once, from Companies House, I received four separate letters in different envelopes within two days.  I do appreciate that the operating systems for companies and corporations may not lend themselves to compiling correspondence from different departments and sending it all out as one letter in one envelope, but surely there is something that can be done about the sheer volume of mail that gets sent in such a way?  How many more trees will it take?

Junk mail is also becoming more of a problem, and I have now resorted to putting a “no circulars” sign on my letterbox flap to try and stem the tide.  The run-up to Bank Holidays and Christmas are notorious times, when we can expect an avalanche of special offers to come storming through the flap, enticing us to enter their stores with the only type of paper they are interested in seeing – the lovely flash of cash.  And I guess it probably works.  My new sign means I don’t get to take advantage of some of these offers, but I’d rather go and hunt for what I want online and Google the specials, than deal with the relentless deluge of mail that comes marching into my house uninvited. It seems that every week we are throwing out a full bin of cardboard and paper, at least half of which I haven’t asked for and have no interest in reading.  I wouldn’t mind if it was paper bags for my fruit and vegetables, which I buy from the local Farmer’s Market, but they are still using plastic, and don’t get me started here on the perils of plastic, as that’s a whole ‘nother blog!

Overall, despite the electronic technology available to us all, we are still producing far too much un-necessary paper.  As individuals there’s a lot we can do to cut down on the amount of paper we manufacture and consume.  Since shop keepers seem relentlessly determined to foist receipts upon us for every little thing we buy, there’s not much we can do to avoid them, at least until they can figure out a better way of offering us proof of purchase.  But there are ways in which we can contribute to the ongoing regeneration of existing paper.

Buying recycled is a great way to start.  Just be aware that all recycled paper is not the same.  If something goes wrong in the milling process, the virgin pulp is often reused to make a fresh batch, and it is – technically – “recycled”.  When buying new paper, buying 100% post consumer waste recycled is making a significant contribution to the reduction in the number of trees that will need to be cut down for “virgin” paper, which is not necessarily of any better quality.  Toilet paper, printing paper, packaging and other forms of paper and cardboard can be purchased as recycled, with no compromise in the quality.  Some of the packaging on items from supermarkets is classed as recycled, so it pays to look at the labels.  Using reusable shopping bags helps as well, even though they are a bigger combatant against plastic.

Switching to online banking statements and other utility billing will dramatically reduce the amount of paper that comes into the home. So will paying attention to what you order online, because this is a really big factor in how much junk mail you end up getting.  Ensuring you tick the box rejecting unwanted mail from the companies you use, or from their ‘associate compatible’ partner companies, will mean you get fewer unwanted circulars to then have to dispose of.  You can also opt out of receiving telephone directories and catalogues for companies who also offer access to their wares online.

Many home printers now have a duplex function, enabling you to print double sided, which cuts down on the over-use of fresh paper.  When cutting and pasting information, particularly from the internet, reducing the spaces between blocks of text can dramatically reduce the amount of paper you need to use, to print a document.

All this aside, you can actually reuse a lot of the paper that somehow manages to make its way into the home. 

• Buying a cheap shredder will enable you to shred all kinds of paper items and use the shredding for packaging, for bird, hamster or guinea pig beds, and for compost.  Not all councils accept shredder paper for recycling, as its value is much less than intact paper and it creates a lot of mess in the streets if it’s unescured, so you do need to be careful when shredding, that you don’t produce more than what you need. 
• Old Christmas cards can be glued into a “Santa Scrapbook”, and sent to the Children’s Wards of various hospitals.  It’s a nice project for the kids to do over the holidays or on rainy days.  You can also make bunting from the card faces for decorations for their bedrooms. 
• Toilet roll centres can be folded up inside one another until full and then used as “briquettes” for lighting the fire.  They can also be used in the garden to protect young seedlings when they first poke their heads above the soil.  
• Gift wrap, ribbons and tissue paper can be reused. The backs of used envelopes are handy for jotting down shopping lists or notes. The blank backs of non-confidential letters can be cut into four to make note paper. 
• Magazines can be shared with friends, or donated to your local doctor or dentist surgery. 
• Newspapers can be used to make pots for seedlings.  They also act as insulation in a variety of situations.  I remember I once rode a motorcycle in the pouring rain for three hundred and fifty miles with a newspaper stuffed down the front of my jacket.  It kept me completely dry!  I also had one under my coir doormat, which helped protect the porch floor in winter. Just be careful that your newspaper insulation doesn’t become any kind of fire hazard!  

There’s no doubt we are getting more savvy about recycling, and paper is one of the easiest and friendly substances to regenerate.  Councils are helping, but we can’t rely on them to deal with all of it, or provide all the answers.  We need to think for ourselves about how we can reduce the pressure on our environment caused by the over-production and waste management of paper and its associated by-products, and put that thought into action.

I’d love to hear about any paper saving or recycling ideas that people are putting into practice.  Please do share your thoughts and ideas here, because if we can all help one another learn and do, it can only lead to a better world for the future generations who stand to inherit it.  It will be fabulous if they can still have plenty of trees to look at, and to purify the air they need to breathe!   

        

Deadly Nightshade In the Garden of Friends

Many years ago, I stood speechless one day while a friend barged into my house unannounced, wandered over to my china cabinet, pulled out a crystal tumbler and wandered over to the sink to help herself to a glass of water. She did know where the normal glasses were kept, and she knew I only used the crystal ones for dinner parties and other special occasions. I guess she forgot.  As she filled her glass, she told me for the hundredth time how annoying her kids were, how her high-earning husband didn't understand her need to have a spa weekend away from the family, how they’d made a mistake buying such a big house, how much she wanted to throw in her part time job, how angry she was at her parents who had given up their whole established lives and flown half way around the world in their mid seventies to live closer to the grandchildren but who had decided to buy their own flat and not invest in her house as she originally expected them to, and what a pain it was to be her.  Then she asked me if I would have her kids (yet again) the following afternoon in the gap between school ending and her being able to pick them up after work.

I wanted to remind her, nicely of course, that we were renting a small uglyish house, my husband was establishing a new business and cash was incredibly tight so a spa weekend for me was a pipe dream, her two sons were healthy, happy and beautiful, I had just one useless parent (who didn’t give a damn about me at all), I was trying to find a rare part time job myself, I’d had her kids six times in the past fortnight over what was to have been a once a week arrangement, and I’d really have liked to tell her what a pain it was, right at that moment, to be me.

Did I say any of it?  No.  I didn't say a word, because she knew all of that.  She already knew that her life was so much better than mine on almost every possible level. She was my friend, after all.  I suddenly felt a bit sick, so I invented a headache and asked her politely if she wouldn't mind leaving. I knew right at that moment, while she stood there disrespecting me and my property and my life, that she was a toxic friend.

For a long time now, there have been a lot of resources available to help us understand what abusive domestic relationships look and feel like, and there are, thankfully, plenty of support systems in place to help us transcend them. But a different type of abusive relationship that has been flying under the radar for as long as humans have been talking to one another is now emerging as a bonafide hotbed of hurt and confusion .  Friendships can ALSO be portals to abuse of various kinds, principally emotional and exploitative, and while toxicity within these relationships has historically never enjoyed the same level of public discussion, attitudes to what should be kept behind closed doors are thankfully changing and it is becoming increasingly more obvious that abusive friendships are, sadly, just as prevalent as “romantic” or domestic ones.

Until relatively recently, most of us have simply assumed that our friendships would not be portals for abuse.  Whether or not that’s because we’ve traditionally always assumed ourselves to have invested less in them emotionally, or whether our own levels of vulnerability have precluded us from analysing the reality of how our friendships really function, its only since people have started identifying the phenomenon of “toxic friendships” and openly speaking about them, that the rest of us feel legitimate in acknowledging that to be involved with toxic people WHATEVER the relationship, is unacceptable.  It’s a great step forward and personally I give thanks to those pioneers in pain for their courage in speaking out and helping, though that process, to turn this taboo subject into a table topic.

We all know about the guys who beat their wives, and the women who psychologically torture their partners.  “Hen-pecked husbands” used to be a subject of ridicule, but not anymore.  We also know about people who beat or starve their own kids to death, workplace bullies, and the power-hungry’s victimization of the vulnerable.  But our friendships have traditionally been regarded as our “safe harbour”, a safety net, where the same sense of responsibility and serious work that keeps a relationship healthy doesn't apply. Traditionally, it has taken some form of monumental betrayal of one party to a friendship to convince the other that a parting of the ways is warranted.  But a far more insidious form of betrayal or disloyalty can infiltrate a friendship, take root, and cause untold damage to a person’s self esteem, prospects or opportunities and it happens and ends up being perpetuated because the person who experiences the misery simply (but wrongly) feels less justified or validated in terminating the friendship.

Well, newsflash, everyone: If you’re feeling unhappy, anxious or resentful about spending time with someone in your social circle, it doesn’t automatically mean you’re wrong, paranoid, irrational or deluded about the true status of the friendship, even if voicing your concerns prompts others to denigrate them as such.  You may be a little over-sensitive, but you’ll know that about yourself already, and if that’s all it is, it’s probably time for a conversation with the person concerned, to clear all that up.  But, in reality, if there are people in your friendship network who have a negative impact on your mood and/or view of your own life, it’s time to take a step back, reassess that relationship, consider the value of it to your life, and walk away if necessary.  

As true as all this is, it’s also important that we look at our own role in a toxic friendship.  If we’re in the habit of picking bad partners, it’s a pretty safe bet that we may also not make the best choices of who to have as friends.  Many of us have been involved with the bad boys in the hope that we could change them, and ended up heartbroken as a result.  Just as many of us have picked up the lame ducks in the hope that we could fix them, and ended up just as heartbroken as a result.   But here’s another newsflash: in real life, the frogs are simply frogs in our garden.  They don’t turn into princes, no matter how many times we kiss them. 

Consider too, the charismatic, successful, glittery person that everybody loves and wants to spend time with – we might want to be that person’s friend because we think that some of the success, glitter and popularity will rub off onto us and magically transform our own lives.  Since it’s the normal human condition to want what we don’t have, the target of our affection (even as a friend) very likely possesses qualities we wish we had ourselves.  We are naturally drawn to people we perceive as being in a position to fill our lack.  Newsflash Number Three: Such people are often simply a glittery wrecking ball to our self development and sense of self worth. All too often, those princes and princesses we gravitate towards because they have the qualities we wish we had ourselves are actually narcissistic prima donnas; wolves in sheep’s clothing, absorbing the adoration and indulging in the exploitation of others in whatever way works best for them in shoring up whatever they lack for themselves.

None of this is to imply, however, that a toxic friendship is always our own fault. Nobody goes into a friendship expecting or deserving to be treated badly, disrespected, made to feel inadequate or unworthy, or abused in any other way.  Making a mistake is one thing.  Failing to acknowledge it and remaining miserable is quite another, and that is something we DO have to take responsibility for. Its a common thing that people who don't "pull the pin" sometimes feel that they can't face doing it.  The thought of being without that person is simply too awful.  We maybe clinging to the hope that things will improve, the toxic friend will see the light, its "just a phase" that will pass.  There are endless justifications for remaining in these destructive friendships, but the reality is that over time they are incredibly dangerous to both our self esteem and our view of our place in the world.

We’ve all had at least one friend in our lives who has perpetually reminded us that they’re better, or better off, than us in some way.  We’ve listened to them banging on about how great they are and how wonderful their lives are compared with our own, or what’s preventing them from being happy despite their current blessings.  We’ve had friends that have “teased” us in a crowd, with an underlying lack of awareness of how hurtful that can be, or an actual streak of menace, with either disregard being a simple lack of respect for us as people.

                                        

We've also had the “poor me’s” whose lives are like an endless soap-opera of the worst kind of drama, chaos and negativity, who soak up our positive energy like sponges, leaving us dry and depleted.  There’s a great story about the tree and the vine, that I’ll share with you here.  Generally speaking there are two types of people – trees and vines.  Vines will find trees, wrap themselves around them and leach all the goodness out of them for their own survival.  Then, when a tree is dead, what happens to the vine?  Does it die?  Hell no!  It simply goes and finds another tree.  Even some of the most successful people are vines, when it comes to their friendships.  Their own needs and desires simply eclipse anyone else's - even the people they regard as friends.

These are all people who are obsessed with their own real or perceived status: be it success, attractiveness, wealth, power, as well as ill-health, ugly appearance, lack of social interaction, financial destitution, and various other areas of powerlessness or dysfunction.  These people are true toxins.  They don’t want to know about us - not really!  They just want us to empower them to stay where they are in life.  Our happiness is irrelevant to these people. In no way can we class them as friends!

If a friend is genuinely struggling with issues that are overwhelming them, being the best friend we can to them at that time is critically important to ourselves as well as to them.  Knowing the difference between a person who is genuinely in need of our support, and one who’s simply being manipulative and exploitative of us in their own self absorption is critical to yanking out a toxic weed from our lovely garden of friendships and keeping ourselves intact in the process.

When friendships matter to us we absolutely do invest in them: emotionally, financially, practically and with genuine desire to have and be a really good friend, and the thought of losing any friendship we've invested in can be incredibly sad.  But the question to ask is whether or not being in that relationship actually makes us happy.  We’ve all muttered to ourselves in the past “I’d rather be on my own than in a horrible relationship”, when a romantic one goes bad.  Newsflash Number Four: FRIENDSHIPS ARE NO DIFFERENT!

People who take away our joy or positive sense of self have nothing positive to offer our lives.  Friendships that don’t enrich us are not worth having.  Nobody has the right to make us feel less worthy, less capable, less optimistic – especially not someone who’s in our lives wearing the label “friend”. 

Dealing with toxic friendships can be tricky. If the problems have gone beyond being able to talk about what’s upsetting us, or the energy to do so is just no longer there, it’s ok to walk away.  I did that once with someone I went to university with who used me for a long time and gave me nothing in return for my time, money, energy or support.  I lent her some books that she knew were hard to replace, and I never got them back.  I just got fed up with her in the end, and stopped communicating.  She never chased me up, which proved how irrelevant I really was to her, once I’d fallen off her radar of resources.  Another "friend" did something really horrible to me, including attempting to play me off against one of the loveliest friends in my garden, at a time when I was dealing with a lot of scary stuff.  Instead of offering me support she tried to shaft me in her own self interest.  I tried to communicate with her privately about it and she responded in the most savage way imaginable.  I had truly loved her, so it was a heartbreaking thing to find out what she was really like. And that I guess is one of the biggest hazards.  Sometimes toxic “friends” won’t reveal their hand until ALL the chips are down.  We won’t see it coming, and that makes it all the more devastating when such parasites show their true colours.

Sadly, toxic friends (whether obvious or not) are a reality that most of us will have to deal with at some point in our lives.  There are a lot of damaged people out there who are actively seeking to have their needs met, and they won’t care who they choke, sacrifice or step on in the process of making that happen. But we all need our own blood for our own survival.  We can’t afford to be giving it to those who wouldn't do the same for us.

Friendship should be mutually enriching, encouraging, uplifting, positively challenging, affirming, kind, respectful and FUN. A person who brings none of those qualities to your garden of friendship has no place there.  It really IS better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship that chokes your chances of finding a good one.  Even if it hurts, pull the weeds out. Know that who you have in your gorgeous garden of colourful, fragrant friends are beautiful birds, butterflies and blooms who truly deserve to be there!

"Flying" into Summer?

Summer’s almost here, and by the time it comes, most of us are thinking barbecues and garden parties, sun screen and skimpy frocks, floppy hats and footwear, and a host of other fabulous individual things that represent for each and every one of us, the very best bits of summer.     

But the happy sunshine season also brings pestilence in the form of BUGS - wasps, flies, mosquitoes and other insects - that worry or annoy us in various degrees.  The ads on the telly start early, planting the seed that we need be ready to deal with summer pests before they even dare to set wing or crawly foot inside our homes. So the supermarkets gird their loins and brace themselves for the inevitable landslide of people waving money at them for bug spray. 

But what are they buying?  Yes, okay, a pest destructing, bug-busting device in an aerosol can, and there is no doubt whatsoever that it works.  We've all seen flies in their fizzing death throes on the windowsills or bashing at the glass in a vain attempt to get out as their bodies become paralyzed mid flight.  I find it hard to tolerate wasps, flies and other flying/crawling threats to my environment myself, but the idea of condemning them to an agonized death with chemicals is an uncomfortable one for me, and not only because I believe that no living creature deserves to die in agony.  I also know – beyond all doubt – that an aerosol of fly spray, while quick and effective – is potentially lethal to human and pet health too.  Some of the documented effects are almost too horrible to describe.

But, bug-busters, please bear with me while I try. 

The main active ingredient in most of the mainstream bug sprays available from supermarkets is a chemical called Permethrin, a strong synthetic pesticide, which can cause dangerous symptoms in humans with prolonged or excessive exposure. It is is also used to treat human head and body lice, keep crops pest-free and protect animals from ticks and fleas.  The chemicals kill insects by blocking the transmission of messages in the nervous system. The human nervous system is less susceptible to these chemicals both because of our larger size and because humans and many other mammals have detox mechanisms to help rid the body of these chemicals. However, recent studies indicate that prenatal and infant exposure may lead to cognitive and developmental problems later on.

Low-level exposure is (apparently?) not generally an issue, but ingestion and inhalation of large amounts of this substance can be dangerous.  When it comes into contact with the skin, it produces a burning and tingling sensation. If it enters the eyes, Permethrin generally causes an intense burning. In such cases, experts recommend repeated washing of the eyes for a full 30 minutes after exposure and seeking medical attention. Ingestion of this chemical is associated with severe abdominal symptoms such as diarrhoea and vomiting, and inhalation can cause respiratory distress and coughing. Prolonged exposure can have different poisoning symptoms than acute exposure. Those who work with this chemical on a daily basis sometimes begin to experience neurological symptoms with side effects such as tremors, headaches and a tingling sensation in the fingers and toes. If exposure persists, more severe neurological effects, such as memory loss and/or seizures, can occur. Proper precautions, such as the use or respiratory masks and hazard suits, should be taken by all of those who regularly exposed to Permethrin, and that’s all well and good, but the average householder running around with a can of fly spray doesn't usually think about such precautions.  The rationale is that it’s a quick burst of spray.  But whether that constitutes a little or a lot of exposure is debatable, depending on the volume and frequency, and we run the risk of making potentially life-threatening assumptions about individual tolerance levels of different sized humans and animals who stand to be affected by the toxic effects.  In the distant past, as I’m seriously arachnophobic, I've sprayed what some might regard as an excessive amount of bug spray at a spider and almost choked to death at roughly the same speed as I felt my eyeballs being singed and stripped of their membranes.  If I’d persevered with doing that every day, or even just once a week, every week for however many years, maybe I’d be dead by now, or suffering from some irreversible form of neurological damage.  It doesn't bear thinking about.

Although they are modelled on the naturally occurring pyrethrin which is found in chrysanthemum flowers, synthetic pyrethroids are more toxic to animals and humans, and much longer-lasting in the environment.  The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has found that permethrin, as one member of the pyrethroid class in particular, is likely to be carcinogenic to humans. Young children are particularly at risk as they are in constant contact with surfaces that may have been treated and frequently put their hands in their mouths. People can also absorb the chemicals through the skin while bathing a pet or from lice shampoos.

Putting pyrethroids to one side for a moment, bug sprays contain other powerful toxins too, such as DICHLOROVOS, which has been found to contain carcinogenic properties, and various other organophosphate compounds which, through a specific chemical process, cause the flying creature’s muscles to “lock up”, thereby paralyzing its ability to breathe or fly.  As humans, we inhale it and repeated use of it enables the toxic chemicals to accumulate in our body, and the jury is still well and truly out as to whether our biological systems really ARE capable of breaking them down and successfully eliminating them.  So without knowing that we can, why take the gamble? And even if we knew we could, what have our poor little livers done to deserve such a vicious attack?  Why would we put our bodies through a process which is not only potentially life threatening, but completely unnecessary?

There’s also an ongoing debate about whether exposure to fly spray and other home and garden pesticides significantly increases the chance of contracting Parkinson’s disease, which is incurable and neurologically degenerative.  Parkinson's occurs due to a loss of nerve cells in the brain, and the symptoms emerge when around 70% of cells have been lost.  While it’s not known why these nerve cells die, research suggests that people exposed to insecticides in the home are 70 percent more likely to develop Parkinson's than those who have not been exposed.  That’s a pretty high percentage.  And, while no specific guidelines regarding avoidance of pesticides can be given, we do have to acknowledge that this is an area of public health importance that needs to be pursued with additional studies to either underpin or refute its findings, because it’s about human and animal health, and few things are more serious, in reality.  

There is also evidence to suggest that the use of insecticides produces various nerve problems and leukaemia.  A study conducted in the USA in 2002 (read about it here) showed that the use of professional pest control during prenatal or the first three years of a child’s life was at least twice as high for families whose children had leukaemia compared to families of healthy children. Overall, children with leukaemia were almost three times as likely to have been exposed at one of those points compared with healthy children. That is really scary.

So, on lots of levels, there is deeply serious concern about the use of pesticides around children.  One particularly hideous case was that of a newborn baby boy in Spain, who lived with his family in a house with a severe cockroach infestation. The mother used a full litre bottle of bug spray every other day, to try to keep the bugs under control. The father worked in an orchard as a fruit fly fumigator and was careful to change his clothes before he came home from work. The baby boy was born with his bladder outside his body, rather than inside it, and his blood tested positive for Permethrin, the horror we’ve already talked about here. This incredibly nasty substance mimics estrogen in developing female babies and works as an anti-testosterone in developing male babies. When an embryo is exposed to chemicals in this class during the fifth to seventh weeks of pregnancy, the "plumbing" of the urogenital tract fails to form.  The bladder can remain outside the body, and the genital organs may be replaced by an open cavity, even when the child is genetically male. Baby girls can develop normal external genitalia but may suffer reproductive failure later in life.

Most of us adore our cherished pets.  We need to remember that they can’t tell us if they are suffering, they simply have to hope that we notice, and if we’re really busy we may not, straight away.  Insecticides of all kinds, including aerosol bug sprays, are desperately dangerous to pets, including fish, since the sprayed substance floats on top of the water and leaches poison into it. Although dogs can to some degree detoxify these chemicals, cats are more susceptible and can suffer tremors, twitching, convulsions and even death, if pyrethroid-containing products designed to rid them of their own parasites are misused or over-used.  Birds don’t stand much of a chance at all, since their bodies, lungs and membranes are so small and fragile.

And here’s another little nugget: in addition to all this, spraying fly spray in a poorly ventilated area renders the atmosphere explosive, and there are documented cases of people having incinerated their homes by using heavy amounts of fly spray and then having an innocuous spark (e.g. from a computer or light bulb) act as a detonator.  It’s a rare phenomenon, obviously, as there would otherwise be more general knowledge about it, but the fact that it happens at all raises serious questions about the sensibility of having something with that kind of capability in the house, particularly when there are safe and easy alternatives.

So given all of the above, do we seriously want to run this kind of risk, simply to get rid of a few flies? My answer is no.

The other worrying thing that tends to fly under the radar of most people is the fact that empty aerosol cans of bug spray are classifiable as hazardous waste.   Such items can't be thrown in the garbage or down the drain -- the residue just ends up in a river, or other mainstream waterway. And if you're on septic tanks, those chemicals can kill the good bugs in your tanks that effectively process your septic waste. Even if it ends up in a landfill, pesticide can leach out and find its way into drinking water supplies. Burying hazardous waste is also inadvisable, unless you want to turn your garden into a toxic waste dump, especially if you unwittingly combine certain chemicals that have the potential to create an explosive or corrosive compound.  The typical household accumulates, over time, bug spray, drain cleaner, old paint, used motor oil, swimming or spa pool chemicals, old lighter fluid, nail polish and remover, old batteries, rat poison, unused electronic items, compact fluorescent lights (CFLs), and dozens of other ordinary consumer products that are hazardous to people and the environment.  Most of us do accumulate toxic and hazardous material simply by just shopping like ordinary people, and as yet some of it cannot be realistically avoided, so how we use and dispose of it all is a serious issue that needs to be dealt with responsibly.  The easiest and safest solution for the disposal of toxic waste is to gather it up and take it to your local hazardous waste disposal centre every few months. And, obviously, exploring the safer options that currently are available for certain hazardous products makes more sense from the outset.

Flies and bugs are usually in a habit of living and nesting in unhygienic conditions. Keeping your home and the outside area clear of any decaying or rotting material will make a huge difference to the amount of pests that are attracted to your environment. Any leftover food which could decompose should be disposed of quickly.  It can be composted or recycled in whatever other way is possible in line with your council’s recycling policies.  Tea Tree oil combined with water and sprayed around doors and windows can deter spiders, ants and other crawling insects from making an entrance or hanging around.  Fresh basil, bay leaves, lavender and mint grown in pots within the home can repel flying insects.   Plastic soft drink bottles with the tops off, half filled with a solution of sugar and water and placed on windowsills where wasps and fruit flies tend to hang out, will attract them and they will drown in the solution. Sticky fly paper is environmentally friendly, and so are small household electric "insectocutors", which entice files to them to be instantly electrocuted.  If you're big into plants, a Venus Flytrap can be a godsend.  If you have bees in your house, make every effort to guide them back into the garden, or leave windows open to enable them to find their own way out, as these little workhorses are our greatest environmental allies. It’s also possible, for a small but worthwhile long term investment, to get some insect screens for your doors and windows so you can enjoy the fresh air without the creepy crawlies.  Remember though, that not all crawlies are obnoxious. Some do add good value to your home.  As much as I hate spiders, those who can tolerate them are advised to let them be.  I can't believe I'm saying that, but I have to be honest about it.  For the most part, ugly and disgusting and terrifying as I find spiders to be, they are our household friends. 

When it comes to pets, there are less toxic treatments and chemical-free care products available to help you manage issues with fleas, ticks, mites and skin problems and you can use a flea comb to remove fleas.  Using pesticides really ought to be a last resort. With any pesticide, it’s critical to read package labels, follow the instructions to the letter, and use the least amount possible. Although cats are susceptible to pyrethroids, the chemicals are still used in cat treatments, so do read the labels before you buy anything.  Online sites offer great alternatives (such as this one here).

If you need professional help to safely eliminate household pests, try googling green providers who can offer a chemical free or low-risk solution.

You CAN protect your family – all of its members – by giving some real thought to what you purchase in your efforts to eliminate pests this summer.  The pesticides so cheaply available on the supermarket shelves are an effective "quick-fix", but at what long-term cost?

The Silent Stalker...

Don’t we just love the fragrance of a meadow full of flowers?  The smell of freshly ironed linen will always make us smile, and so will a sea breeze.  Lavender is good for the nerves.  Lemon makes us feel fresh.  Our sense of smell enables us to associate different fragrances with happy memories and feelings.  Whenever I smell almonds I’m reminded of a time in my life when I was much younger, far more carefree and very, very happy.  I fell in love with the smell of the shampoo I was using at the time.  It was no more complicated than that!  You can’t buy it anymore, and it’s probably just as well, because heaven knows what was actually in it, and waaaay back then, I didn't care all that much about what I was putting onto my skin or hair.  Nowadays I do, and the smell of something – no matter how lovely it might be - is no longer enough to make me want to use it.  I've learned that some of these “lovely” products are in fact silent stalkers waiting to wrap their vicious, take-no-prisoners tentacles around our health and well-being, and tear it away from us.

Melodramatic?  With respect, not really - because a day or two ago I saw something on the happy social spectrum that is facebook, that actually made me want to cry, and I feel compelled to write about it.  It was a picture of a beautiful, soft, gentle grey cat that had accidentally knocked over a container of reed diffuser, and suffered the most horrific burns to his little body.  His owners had washed him immediately, and felt that he wasn't in any particular distress, but a few days later he was in agony, because washing the oils from the diffuser liquid hadn’t been enough to stop them from leaching into his skin and burning his body.  It would have been a hundred times worse if they hadn't noticed straight away or tried to wash what they could from his body.  They were, of course, completely distraught at what had happened to their poor beautiful pet, and rightly so.  The diffuser went into the trash, where it rightly belongs, and they will never have something like that in their home again.  It’s a hard learned, horrible lesson, but at least now it’s something their pets and their children are no longer at risk from. 

Its worth noting that the air fresheners that are infiltrating your air with unseen chemicals are also coating your pets' fur or feathers, and they regularly clean themselves, so the implications are that they are ingesting the stuff, with no choice about the matter at all.

Another friend posted on facebook that some of the liquid from her car freshener had leaked onto the dashboard and caused the surface to blister.  Her question was: “what does it do to skin?”

What an excellent question!  And I’ll tell you the answer.  If this picture of the cat isn't graphic enough, here are a few more details about the silent menace that is definitely NOT your friend:

Air fresheners are an unregulated range of substances that appear on supermarket shelves and in cleaning company catalogues in various different forms: aerosols, timed sprays, plug-ins, reed diffusers, scented gels and candles, and solid blocks that gradually emit fragrance over time while they shrink in the process.  Some of them are even made up to look ornamental, fitting in with different home decor to look like they belong there.  People, they SO don’t!!!

In their different forms, air fresheners typically interfere with your ability to smell accurately, and they do this by releasing nerve-deadening agents or invisible oil films that coat your nasal passages.  Dichlorobenzene, for example, which is as horrible as it sounds, having chlorine as its base, which is scary enough for a totally separate blog, actually...  Methoxychlor; a pesticide that can accumulate in fat cells and depress the central nervous system, is a common agent in air fresheners, and in high doses (like if you have a scented plug-in in every room of the house) methoxychlor (and other associated 'thalates') can compromise fertility and cause tremors or convulsions in animals.  It is one of a large number of chemicals that can mimic the action of hormones and interfere with endocrine function.  Air fresheners can also contain formaldehyde, which is a highly toxic carcinogen used to preserve dead bodies and various organs for scientific research.  Other delightful ingredients like toluene, which is used to increase the life and flexibility of plastic, can compromise a healthy functioning nervous system. Naphthalene affects red blood cells that carry oxygen, potentially causing cardiovascular and developmental dysfunction, particularly in children.  And as for the question about what happens to skin that comes in contact with air freshener liquid?  Look at the cat, then think child, face, arms, hands, skin.  Air fresheners contain an incredibly nasty chemical called Phenol, which was probably responsible for that lovely animal’s burns, if it wasn't acetone.  Think phenol, think  burns, peeling, swelling and painful hives, circulatory collapse and even coma.  Yes, really.  I’m not kidding. Some air fresheners also contain limonene and/or ethanol, which are recognized carcinogens.  

I’m not here to scare you, I’m just telling it straight.  You have this stuff in your house, this is the risk you are taking with the family’s health.  Pure and simple.

(Click here to read the story about how a simple citrus air freshener scarred this little girl so horribly.)

Given that information, think about how, exactly, we can realistically expect chemically-scented fragrances and/or aerosols propelled by butane, propane or other toxins to create an indoor environment of “fresh air”.  How does that work? Well, that’s a question there ISN'T an answer for. . . unless it’s to say that it DOESN’T!  Not in any way, shape or form.  All these chemical "deodorizers" or chemical air "fresheners" do is overlay existing odours with unseen chemicals that very cleverly trick the olfactory system into believing they have been eliminated.  They do the absolute opposite of improving the quality of indoor air, unless you count nausea, headaches, racing pulse and watery, itchy eyes and the development or exacerbation of asthma, to name a few of the triggered ailments, as improvements.

Nope?  Thought not. 

I'm not going to say much more about it, because the reasons why we should be thinking "BARGEPOLE!!" about these olfactory wolves in sheep's clothing are all here, and they are yucky enough without me repeating anything or asking any more questions.  What I will do now is talk about alternatives to actively inviting the spectre of agony, and quick routes to an early death, into your house.

In my domestic cleaning business (Darlings Who Do Limited), we're 'chemical free'.  Prima facie, that's a bit of a misnomer, since everything - even water - is a chemical, but what we really mean in our description of what we do is that we bring into your house, along with our top quality microfiber cloths,  just two products - both natural - and that's all we need, to clean your house and make it smell fresh and lovely.  If you have us there to clean your oven, we use an oven cleaning paste that contains nothing but natural ingredients and essential oils.  Its lovely (and 100% safe) for our staff to use, its lovely for your oven since there's no carcinogenic residue to taint your food, and its lovely for you, to have a safe and pleasant natural fragrance in your kitchen.  Our all-purpose cleaning fluid also contains all natural ingredients and anti-bacterial essential oils, so that there's no question of your family being put at risk.

You can do the same for yourself, when it comes to having a nice smelling home.  Obviously the first thing is to actively eliminate any existing challenges to a fragrant home, such as mould, stale and uncleared food, unwiped spills, musty rooms, unwashed pets and their habitats within the home, and a lack of fresh air.  Keeping things clean is the best weapon against unwelcome odours - and we can certainly help you with that!  Allowing sunlight into a room is the quickest way to lifting lingering odours, and opening a window on a sunny day will double the positive effects.  Washing fabrics (i.e. curtains, cushions, sofas) and carpets regularly to keep them fresh will also help significantly, as will ensuring that your vacuum cleaner is clean, dry, and regularly emptied so you don't end up battling with that "stinky vacuum cleaner" syndrome that plagues a lot of people and permeates their houses!

Silk flowers benefit from having a few drops of essential oils put into them.  You can make or buy plain pot pourri to then infuse with your own chosen essential oils, and you can buy candles that are fragranced with natural oils, or buy plain ones and put the oils into them yourself.  Burners with tea lights work beautifully with essential oils, to fragrance a room (provided they are not left unattended and are placed in safe areas where little fingers and paws can't reach them), and fresh flowers with a nice fragrance are a winner every time. 

Get the kids to cut some nice shapes from thick cardboard and decorate them, then place a few drops of the essential oils you love the most onto them, thread some cotton through a hole in the top and put them in your car.  They'll work well in their bedrooms too.  I keep a little muslin bag of fresh lavender in my car.  A pretty dish of real, fresh lavender, revived with a few drops of the essential oil from time to time to keep it working, is nice in a living room.  In your kitchen, warm spices work well.  Cinnamon is great, if you like it, and so are herbs.  I keep a small pot of fresh basil on my kitchen windowsill.  In the loo, a simple box of matches works wonders!!  A small, quick flame from a lighted match is enough to immediately diffuse the unpleasant smell of hydrogen sulphide.

There are plenty of natural solutions to bad odours.  For example, did you know that putting a cut lemon in your fridge will eliminated any existing odours?  Its true.  As a quick fix, it will work for a good fortnight, until you can find enough time to clean the fridge out properly, or get someone to come and do it for you.

Whether we like it or not, we live in a quick-fix, instant gratification culture, where we want what we want, "RIGHT NOW".  My last question is, what price will we really pay, for that fast fragrance?  Forget the actual price tag, because that's really just the tip of a very deep iceberg.  Taking a little time, using a little creativity, and making the conscious decision to be more responsible about how safe our environments are is something we are all capable of doing to ensure we, our children, our animals and our friends don't end up paying the ultimate price of safety, health and well-being simply by sharing the environment we somewhat ironically attempt to create as an inviting and welcoming one.  I'm not going to ask the question "why aren't we doing it?"...

The one big question everyone else needs to ask themselves is whether or not the quick fix of a fast-acting synthetically produced fragrance is worth the associated risks, and only the individual can answer it.  It would be a harder question to answer if we didn't have so many lovely natural alternatives.  We do, though - and they are there for the taking.   

These days, I order essential oils and I stay away from the air fresheners aisle at the supermarket (click here if you'd like to order some for your home).  Like everyone else, I love my home to smell clean and nice, and I'm having a lot of fun with different combinations of natural products and ingredients to achieve that result.  Mother Nature gives use everything we need.  Its up to us to choose whether or not to use her gifts.  They are many and varied, and far less harmful to our health than lab-created, synthetic counterparts that have no place in a happy, healthy, loving, caring home.  Do be aware however, that some essential oils are not skin-kind in concentrated form.  They can sting a bit, and when applied to the skin they need to be added to what's called a "carrier" oil to be fully safe, so do keep them out of harms reach, and always use them correctly, in accordance with the manufacturers instructions.

Interestingly, I also researched breath fresheners,and was very alarmed to learn that according to the green watchdog "Good Guide" (click here for the link), one of the biggest and most popular providers of oral hygiene products currently offers a product that "contains problematic, banned or contaminated ingredients".  They gave it a ZERO, for health, on a 1-10 spectrum.  ZERO.  So as long as demand continues, or someone starts shouting in the public arena and drawing real attention to the issue, this product and others like it will continue to be available, putting people at risk. 

I'm interested to hear people's views about this, and also I'd really love to hear some great tips and suggestions for natural alternatives to lab-produced "odour eliminators", so please do share your knowledge that may of be of benefit or inspiration to others seeking to cut down on the dangers to their family's health.

Opting for Organic

I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and almost fell over with shock.  Does anyone else do that?  Look in the mirror (without really being clear about what to expect) and find that what’s staring back is barely recognizable as themselves, even though there were no actual expectations involved?

It’s bizarre.  I don’t square up to the looking glass with the unrealistic expectation that I look 28.  Good Lordy, I’m decades past that!  However I’m still sometimes completely unprepared for how I really do look, and whenever I’m in that zone, seeing myself, well ... it’s often a bit of a shock, especially post winter, when the whole body wants to emerge and reclaim its rightful glowing state, after a full season of unmitigated neglect and abuse.  I’m talking about the months of comfort food (aka stodge), too much wine and chocolate, too much exposure to fires and central heating and not enough moisturizer, fresh air, or glasses of the all-important water that keeps the organs functioning to process those toxins we've relentlessly foisted upon them all winter long! 

Most of us are a marginal mess, come spring, and we know it. Many of us feel inspired to do something about it, determinedly digging around for those brochures we picked up last autumn for discounted spring spa treatments that we squirreled away in “safe places” that posed a serious challenge to ever being found again.  We generally give in to the over-riding desire to overhaul our gnarly feet and fingernails, get some much needed salvation rubbed into our skin and shave or wax our way to smooth sophistication, to shine once again like the spring flowers we all long to be.

Ok, your Honour, me too.  I’m guilty as charged.  As I write this, I’m thinking about slinging a desperate, dehydrated fist full of cash at a beauty therapist to “overhaul me” and make me fit for spring and summer.  But this year, I’m going one step further.  I’m going to find one that’s “green”, because if the recent research I've done into the state of the planet, the threats to health posed by chemicals, and the evolving attitudes of responsibility for it all are any indications, that is the way beauty therapy needs to go if it is going to survive.  More and more customers are now feeling the need to take better care of their health, be more responsible for the state of their environment, and they are starting to prefer or even insist on organic products being used on their skin instead of the seething chemical-infested mass of what has traditionally been on offer for as long as beauty clinics have been in existence.  Parabens, in particular, have had a big role to play in the composition of so-called beauty products, but BE AFRAID.

Paraben is fast becoming a dirty word, and rightly so.  Parabens are preservatives - used to prevent the growth of microbes in cosmetics products.  They are absorbed through skin, blood and the digestive system and have been found in biopsies from breast tumors in concentrations similar to those found in consumer products.  A 2004 UK study detected traces of five parabens in the breast tumors of 19 out of 20 women studied (read about it here), and while this small study doesn't prove a causal relationship between parabens and breast cancer, it is still important because it DID detect the presence of intact parabens—unaltered by the body’s metabolism—which is proof that these chemicals do penetrate skin, stay in breast tissue, and do not tend to break down or be processed efficiently by the body. Another more recent study found higher levels of parabens in the area nearest the underarm of the breast - the region in which the highest proportion of breast tumors tend to be found. 

Sadly, parabens are everywhere, and are particularly prevalent in a wide variety of beauty products including shampoos, lotions, deodorants, scrubs, moisturizers and eye makeup.  Worryingly, they have been found in nearly all urine samples tested from a cultural cross-section of U.S. adults, with adolescents and adult females having higher levels of methylparaben and propylparaben in their urine than males of similar ages.  This obviously places women, the primary users of beauty therapy clinics and any dodgy products that might be on the bathroom shelves, at high risk of the toxic effects of parabens.  The fact that adolescents are showing the presence of these chemicals in their systems has worrying implications for long term health if they continue using the products which contain them. Given the world's sad obsession with the preservation of youth, that is entirely likely.

Of greatest concern is that parabens are known to disrupt hormone/endocrine function, and are linked to increased risk of breast cancer and reproductive toxicity. They mimic estrogen by binding to the receptors on cells, increasing the expression of genes usually regulated by natural estrogen.  These genes cause human breast cancer cells to grow and multiply.  Parabens are also linked to immunotoxicity, neurotoxicity and skin irritation, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise that something which kills bacteria in water-based solutions, and therefore has toxicity to certain cells, has no place in human skin or vulnerable tissue where it can penetrate and lodge in vulnerable organs to potentially percolate and cause serious health concerns further down the line..

Other chemicals contained in beauty products also have some worrying long-term effects.  Sodium lauryl sulphate (SLS), which helps soap, facial cleansers, and other cleansing products (e.g. shampoo) lather up, can irritate skin, and other potential irritants include benzyl alcohols, which are used to scent and preserve perfume, makeup and hair dyes.  Cocamide MEA binds the ingredients of many moisturisers.

A Daily Mail online health report has declared that the industry magazine “In-Cosmetics” alleges that the average woman absorbs nearly 2.2kg (5lb) of chemicals from toiletries and make-up every year, with no idea about any of the possible side effects, seen and unseen, of the interaction of the various chemicals contained within the variety of products used.

So, even if one of these percolating chemicals isn't harmful in and of itself, what happens when you add several others to it?  And can you imagine having absorbed the equivalent of five 1lb blocks of butter every year in potentially harmful chemicals?  Even if the figures are wrong, the presence of these chemicals in human tissue is proof that we are ingesting some of it.  And ANY at ALL is unacceptable, in my book.

So I’m off to find a “green” beauty therapist; someone who is committed to sustainability in their work practices and ethics, who uses bona-fide and endorsed eco-friendly products, including fair trade tea and coffee that they serve in cups they are prepared to wash instead of cheap and nasty drinks in paper or styrofoam cups that typically get sent to landfill. I want to go to someone who uses eco-friendly equipment and supplies too, like recycleable containers and refills.  I'd like to find someone who has effective and sustainable recycling waste policies, whose staff share their commitment to sustainability and health, and who won't be putting my health and safety at risk (even inadvertently), by using products on my skin that have the capability to do me serious harm. 

I genuienly and wholeheartedly believe that green clinics are the way forward.  Green beauty and hair salons have a REALLY BIG future, not just here in the UK but worldwide.  I run a chemical free domestic cleaning business and our Customers love it that we don't bring chemicals into their homes!  We're actively committed to ensuring their homes are clean without the use of chemical agents they really don't need, and they see the sense in it.  The same goes for the body that each one of us lives in and expects so much from.  Our bodies don't need parabens or other foreign chemicals. They don't need to be put at risk in any such way that forces them to store unwanted substances that have no helpful place in them.  So yes, certainly, do what I plan to do - visit a clinic or salon for the big spring overhaul or makeover, but I encourage you to do some homework first about the products they use, and don't be afraid to ask questions about their commitment to sustainability, in areas like I've mentioned here. That way you can make an INFORMED decision about who you go to for your treatments, what gets put onto your skin, and whether or not you have contributed to the ongoing sustainability of the world you and your family live in.

Looking good and feeling great are important to our sense of well-being, our feelings about how the world sees us, and our confidence levels, and it should NEVER have to come at a life-threatening price, or even the suspicion of one. Every decision we make towards health and sustainability, no matter how small, makes a difference overall.   Eventually, every type of beauty treatment will hopefully be non-threatening to health and the planet.  If we take advantage of what is currently on offer for organic and natural beauty therapy, it all helps guide manufacturers towards making ALL of it safe.  Create the demand, the producers will respond.

Have fun with your makeover!  Click here if you fancy treating yourself to some truly gorgeous, organic, natural skincare and aromatherapy products that you can have delivered to your doorstep. And if you'd like a chemical free spring clean of your home, click right here.